Positive influences - 2018

Throughout the year 2018,  I have been blessed to have been exposed to some really positive people who have provided doses of inspiration and optimism in my life when I needed it. Most of them are people that I personally know and I hope I have managed to articulate how thankful I am to them because I do believe when someone makes a positive difference in your life, they deserve to know. This post is dedicated to those couple of individuals who I'll will never get to thank in person because of their scale of influence and well...one of them isn't even real but a fictional character. :/

Michelle Obama

Spouses of world leaders are generally recognized kind of an addendum to the leader not really having stand out qualities of their own. Throughout her 8 years as First Lady, there were glimpses of how special Michelle Obama is in her own right. One of the biggest clues to this is how visibly her husband President Barack Obama (an extraordinary person himself) is in complete AWE of her even after so many years of marriage. I personally took real notice of her when she managed to articulate her feelings of angst passionately and so eloquently against the current President when that infamous Access Hollywood came out giving voice to millions of people who were too outraged to be able to rationalize their emotions. But I think (especially for people outside the US) you get the proper sense of  how really incredible Michelle Obama is when you read her autobiography - Becoming. 

When adjectives like tough, resilient, optimistic, assertive, super smart, kind, compassionate, inspirational, no nonsense among a few can be used to describe one individual in one breath, then it's not really a surprise when that person's spouse or any rational person for that matter is in awe of that person. She is so thoughtful and kind best reflected in the initiatives that she championed as First Lady based on her experiences and convictions. One particularly interesting anecdote was when she was in school, an academically brilliant student with impressive achievements under her belt, she sought advice from her school counsellor about getting into her dream college Princeton. She mentions that the counsellor simply looked at her without even having a look at her resume and said that she was not Princeton material (underlying implication is because of the race factor). This understandably really stung her she says when she got out of that office her first thought was , "I'll show you" and she did. Not only did she get into Princeton but studied in Harvard as well! But reflecting on this incident, she said that the only reason that her confidence was not completely crushed at that point in a system where the odds are already stacked against a woman of colour from a humble family background at such a young age was because of all the wonderful people in her childhood like her mother who invested in her - built her confidence up by believing in her abilities and always encouraging her to reach up to her full potential. Building on that, she realized how it matters when someone shows genuine interest in your learning and development even if it's just 10 minutes which is especially true for overlooked sections of people like girls and minorities. This resulted in her starting a leadership and mentorship program  at the White House where high school girls would be invited for monthly get togethers and be assigned a female mentor to guide them and encourage them to use their voice and speak up in any platform. Similarly the Let Girls Learn initiative on a wider global scale was to encourage girls to reach their full potential.  

When you have worked that hard and are that bright to get into a Harvard and Princeton and fresh out of college, to land a plum job in a prestigious corporate law firm that pays good money, it takes a special kind of courage to take the bold decision to completely switch gears and enter the non profit/government sector looking to make a positive difference which is exactly what she did. However she also is a very practical person and assertive which is clearly illustrated when she mentions in the book how she fought for more pay than the abysmally low pay that she was offered initially by a non profit organization on the grounds that she needed it to meet her expenses and pay off her college loans. In fact she was so convincing and the organization clearly recognizing that she is a rare breed of talent, took the additional step of securing extra funding so that she could be paid more. She repaid that faith by building an effective impactful project from scratch and setting fund raising records.

Barack Obama's dizzying high profile, political life was not something that she particularly asked for but after she gave a green signal to her husband to run for POTUS, she dove right into it and it is amazing how she raised her family in extraordinary circumstances before and during their time in the White House managing to strictly compartmentalize family time and work going as far as not to speak with her husband directly about work but communicate about work related matters through their chief of staff . She speaks of quite a hilarious example where she had to run her desire of getting a new hairstyle through her husband's staff because everyone is so paranoid about optics at that level!  Under brutal scrutiny (from her fashion sense to her perceived aggression) and pressure, she carried herself with dignity, grace and class. Michelle Obama is far from perfect and she has the humility to acknowledge that self doubt has creeped in on several occasions and the reason she has been able to overcome tough times is because she was able to learn from her mistakes and seek help from her family especially her mother and husband who continue be her bedrocks of support, her faith , female friends and even marriage counselling at some point.

Even though invisible and very undefined, the influence of a First Lady platform appears to be quite powerful. And it obvious that Michelle sought to make the best use of it. It's inspiring that she still uses her really powerful voice to stand up for what is right and stick to her moral convictions. Despite her clear disgust with her husband's successor, she still exudes optimism and hope especially in the youth.  And while  I am at my gushing, let me state that her book oozes intellect with insights like 'Failure is a feeling long before it is an actual result' and 'Friendship between women are build on thousand kindnesses' 

The best definition of a woman of substance in my books. 

Newt Scamander

At the outset, I would like to state that though I am a big fan of the Harry Potter books, I could not stand the films (I could not go beyond the third film) because I found the films to be a gross injustice sometimes to the plot of the books but more importantly the characters of the book - the beautiful mostly underdog characters that JK Rowling painstakingly developed with such depth, complexity, humour and heart that made me so emotionally invested in them.

Hence when the Fantastic Beasts series (a prequel to the HP series) of films started in 2016, I was least interested in what I assumed would be an escapist, shallow spectacle where the main hero of the film was mentioned only once or twice in the entire Harry Potter book series as an author of one their school text books - which was as insignificant as it could get However in 2018, I managed to see both the released Fantastic Beasts films and while my suspicions of it being a spectacle were more or less true, it really threw a big surprise with the main protagonist of Newt Scamander played by brilliant British actor Eddie Redmayne. 

I found myself very drawn to Newt especially in the first film of FB. He is a Magizoologist i.e. a person specialized in the study of magical creatures. Newt is an introvert, socially awkward to the point that he cannot even make proper eye contact with people, kind and empathetic person .  Elaborating more on his social awkwardness,  there is a  scene where he is seated on a dinner table with 3 people who he has just met that day during the course of his adventure.  2 of the characters,  Queenie and Jacob are charming extroverts who interact so openly and boisterously while Newt sits there quietly looking extremely uncomfortable, awkward and thoroughly out place and clearly itching to get out - a situation I think hits close home for a lot of introverts, However, he is completely in his element and thoroughly content and comfortable in his own world of magical creatures. Additionally, he is not presented as a conventional hero who kicks ass, seeks glory, is some 'chosen one' and he remarkably just prefers to be low profile and under the radar. His stand out qualities in the film are presented as his kindness and empathy - underrated but exceptional qualities which is quite the departure from a conventional hero representation

   Watching the way Newt treats Jacob (a non magical person) with respect and his equal when his community has such prejudice towards non wizards, the way he always strives for doing whats right and the way he interacts with his magical creatures, his eventual love interest Tina and even the film's main antagonist who is a deeply tormented orphan boy is incredibly endearing and refreshing. Most importantly,  Newt is showcased as being comfortable in his own skin, He has this very quiet confidence and is  secure and humble about his admirable abilities and the person that he is. He does not have a dramatic change in personality during the film to suit the mold of a 'hero' and his friends and Tina likes him for exactly for who he is.  It is a remarkable testament of the writing of JK Rowling who has managed to craft yet another amazing character and Eddie Redmayne's pitch perfect acting, that a character like Newt who would normally get side kick status could pull off 2 films. 

I guess not surprisingly, a lot of people did not agree with me. A lot of reviews panned Newt's character as a main hero in the film. A particularly snarky film review stated rather mockingly  - 'Newt is so good-hearted, simple, and nondescript that it's sort of crazy that he's going to be the centrepiece of four or five more films'. There are even talks that he will be relegated to side kick status in the next few films where he will anyway be overshadowed by the iconic character of Dumbledore played by Jude Law, It's kind of ironic that only this year I had written a pretty long  post about how more in depth, dignified representation of different groups of people matter in popular culture. I had focused a lot on especially how women are covered. But what I had completely missed out on was how men are covered. In a mainstream film , the 'hero' has to be one  who stands out and generally is someone who is drop dead good looking or a genius (generally a tormented soul) or really witty or brawny (read 6 pack abs as a minimum requirement)  performing death defying action sequences or simply very very charismatic. It may be a generalization but most heroes in different genres whether sci-fi or romantic or action/superhero films fall neatly into one or ideally multiple of the mentioned categories. 

Newt turns all these stereotypes on top of its head and for once even if is short lived, it is wonderful to see an awkward, vulnerable, sensitive and kind male lead celebrated in a mainstream fantasy film 

Thanks for making me REALLY proud to be a  Hufflepuff , Newt!

Will sum up this looooong post by not missing out on  -

Honorable mention - Beto O'Rourke 

 A losing candidate in a US Senate race maybe an unconventional choice but I cannot help but mention him - For having the courage to pour his heart, sweat and soul on an 'unwinnable' race and making a contest out of it and the authenticity and integrity with which he did it.  Other than the viral NFL controversy answer, an answer he gave Ellen Show regarding his DUI (Drunken Under Influence) charge against his name, was really inspiring and thoughtful. Ellen asked him to explain himself amidst the criticism he was receiving about his DUI. I found his answer to be quite illuminating. He said that he would not offer any excuses about that charge and he made a huge mistake. But he also pointed out that he did not let that mistake define him because subsequent to that he started a business, married his wife and had a family, became a member of his city council and a 3 term US congressman. More impressively, he said he realized that he was lucky and privileged that as a white man, despite having such a serious charge against his name, he was able to get a second chance. A black person with a DUI would probably not get employment because of he would have to check a box in his job application or not be able to avail student loans. So Beto said that this incident does not define him but on the contrary,  makes him a better person and politician and he wants to make sure that deserving people get second chances in life. Really goes to show that people's mistakes or even achievements for that matter don't really define them but the character they display on a continuous and evolving basis does.  

To be fair, as a person who has nothing to do with the States, I really am not in a position to know whether Beto is more fluff and less substance or whether he should run for President but qualities of decency, morality, back breaking hard work, compassion, inclusiveness and intelligence have universal appeal and considering that according to me, such qualities seem to be sorely missing at powerful, influential public positions worldwide, I hope Beto O'Rourke becomes a prominent name in politics in a positive way.   

An ordinary tale of renewing my passport

Even though some stories are ordinary, they deserve to be told precisely because a lot of us take ordinariness and normalcy and the forces behind it so much for granted. 

My tale is of the time a month ago when I had to renew my passport. After completing the formalities in my local PSK relatively smoothly, I was informed that my passport would be granted pending physical police verification of my current address of residence. A little more than a week later - a Saturday evening, I received a call from a policeman asking me to report to the local police thane with all my documents for verification next morning between 9.30 am to 12.pm. The next Sunday morning, I reported sharp at 9.30 am with the agenda of finishing off with the task and keeping the rest of my day lazy and free. As one college student and I were one of the first ones to arrive, we were ushered into a small cabin where a middle age policeman asked us to fill some forms and one by one checked all our original documents (which for some surprising reason included all the documents since the inception of my existence from birth certificate to mark sheets to all government ids etc) . After having an argument with him regarding my rent agreement document resulting in him lecturing me about how I might get an adverse police report, he, after some fuss, accepted the photocopy of my documents. Finally he mentioned that he would be visiting our residences the next day and asked us to ensure that we would be present. I requested if he could give me some prior intimation before he came as the next day was a working day. He agreed to give a call half an hour prior to coming. As I walked out of his cabin, I noticed the serpentine queue of people that had built up in the  20 odd minutes that we had been in his office.

The next day, it was pouring very heavily in my area the entire day. By 6 pm when I had not received a call from the policeman, I assumed that he would not be coming that day, However at 6.30 pm , I received a call from him saying that he would be coming in half an hour. Now considering I had burnt my fingers with a fiasco of an attempt at renewal of passport exactly a year ago because of  sudden relocation of city, I was determined to pull out all stops to ensure I renewed my passport successfully this time around, I had researched A to Z about the passport renewal process. If you happen to chance upon people's experiences online particularly with the police verification process, it would scare you enough to believe that it is virtually impossible to get a bribe free passport in India. I literally was rehearsing strategies of negotiation in my mind on how to bring down the potential bribe amount which I concluded as inevitable especially as a non local of the city who couldn't speak the local language. I even  kept ready snacks and fruit juice for the guy.

He promptly reached my place within half an hour despite the heavy rain. After he was seated , I offered something to eat or drink which he declined politely but with a bite of impatience saying that he had already had something in the other houses he had visited. He was carrying a tab with him in which I had noticed all the documents I had submitted yesterday had been meticulously uploaded. As he was going on swiping on his tab, to complete the procedure, he was getting interrupted constantly by his ringing mobile phone. In the probably 10 minutes that he was in my house, he received not less than 7 calls. From what I could gather, the content of a few of the calls went like this:

Call 1: A man pressuring him to issue a PCC (Police Clearance Certificate) right now as he was scheduled to leave the country the next day morning!

Call 2: A man literally pleading with him about his adverse police report because he had filled in some wrong details in his application and what he could do about it as he had already initiate visa proceedings for some foreign country

Call 3: A colleague or superior presumably who was asking him about his whereabouts. When he answered he had been visiting houses for passport verification the entire afternoon, the colleague asked him to immediately come to the police station as there was a lady (who sounded very influential) who was waiting for him at the station for some urgent clearance. 

Each call that he was getting reflected some kind of crisis and urgency to the point that even as a mere on looker, I was beginning to get stressed out!

But I have to say that he did not show any signs of pressure, strain and losing his s**t. In fact, he was cool as a cucumber very patiently and calmly explaining about procedures and documents needed. 

Towards the end, I blurted out stupidly in Hindi - 'Sir, you always get these many calls?'. He replied a bit ruefully that generally people take things very easy and always apply for things like PCC/passports etc last moment which results in a lot of unnecessary panic.

He meanwhile completed my verification process in his tab and explained that he had sent a clear report along with all my documents to the Commissioner of Police's office which would review my documents one last time and would send a final go ahead (if everything was ok) to the Passport office to print my passport. He further elaborated that very single day, a person at the Commissioner of Police receives minimum 500 applications for review. (Imagine a hapless soul going through such an avalanche of documents per day)

He  then promptly left on his bike. And no, he did not take a single rupee from me as bribe or anything. 

Given what I witnessed the last 2 days, I couldn't help thinking that day whether he ever got an off and even if he did, whether he could ever escape the constant bombardment of calls from frantic citizens who had urgent and genuine needs. From what I had seen, he did not even have an assistant. 

I guess the whole point of narrating this incident is that most of the times, we are exposed to mostly vilification and sometimes glorification of the police force for things that they do out of the ordinary. But there is the low profile, almost invisible chunk of the police force that work really really hard behind the scenes under severely overworked, high pressure from all kinds of quarters and (what I am sure is not very off mark to assume) very underpaid conditions so as to ensure as much normalcy possible in the functioning of day to day affairs of areas under their jurisdiction. So the next time I grumble about working on alternate Saturdays and some rare Sundays or when I start getting flustered on the days when there are too many calls at work, I'll remind myself of the feeling of respect I felt for this policeman with the way he handled his duties in a job where there is infinitely much more at stake

Glimmers of hope amidst politics of divisiveness

Politics is just so divisive these days. It seems to be the trend worldwide whether the US or UK or India is that political figures/parties who focus more on what separates us rather unite us, have the upper hand these days. In normal circumstances, I probably would get massively disillusioned about it. But somehow I am not, mainly because I see glimmers of hope.

The response to the floods in Kerala has been eye opening. I might have my own issues with my native state (where I have never stayed and don't have the kind of connect that a typical Malayali has) but it is just been so heartening and inspiring to hear about the way the government (including the opposition), central and state agencies, the civil administration and society (both in and out of Kerala) have unitedly worked hand in hand cutting across all classes, religions and other 'divisions' to genuinely help each other. In my heart, this as always been my idea of India - a  huge dysfunctional diverse family where different ideas reside and where squabbles occur almost every other day but when it matters the most, the family members come together and have each others back. Amidst all this resilience, it really is a crying shame how a certain section of fanatics can't help themselves and have sought to spread division and hatred by blaming beef eaters or demands of lift of ban on women entering the Sabarimala temple or the Muslims and Christians that make up half the population and who supposedly don't deserve help. My sincere hope is that these poisonous snakes never come to power and sow communal discord in a diverse state like Kerala

There are some legitimate issues that need to be debated like whether Kerala should be accepting foreign aid, the environmental policy of the state that may have lead to this calamity etc. But it just strikes me as particularly vitriolic and arrogant when people who seem to think they know more about the financial needs of the Kerala Government than the state government itself for rebuilding the state - thrash people who legitimately question why the central government is giving a seemingly paltry sum to the state government. It really is not an illogical question considering  the other known expenditures of the central government on things like statues are many times this amount. It would do good for the central government to be more transparent about this to dispel the notion that it is not doing enough for the state.

The road to recovery and rehabilitation of Kerala after the devastating floods is a long one but if the spirit shown till now by not only Keralites but Indians all across the board is any indication, it is not a question of whether but when we'll get there. 

https://www.ndtv.com/video/news/news/kerala-floods-seven-lessons-in-tackling-a-crisis-491886

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Have you ever met or heard a person speak who has made you feel that there is an innate spark in him/her? That the person has some kind of special and inspiring quality and is meant for great things? It is really rare where one feels like that. But it happened to me last week when I saw this viral clip retweeted by JK Rowling (who I highly respect) of a candidate for Senate from the US - a guy named Beto O'Rourke giving his opinion about what is supposedly an extremely prickly issue in the US - black players in the NFL kneeling when the national anthem is playing before their matches. (Of course their thrashy President has exploited this issue to the maximum to  incite hate and division). I did not even know who this person was but the depth of thought, clarity, honesty, empathy,  logic and sensitivity with which he conveyed his opinion about this issue just blew me away along with the way he so respectfully said it. He is competing for a senate seat in Texas - a state which my uncle who lives in Houston describes as deeply 'red'. In short, a state where a candidate belonging to the Democrat party like Beto has very little chance of winning. But as the saying goes - It doesn't hurt to be optimistic....you can always cry later. It was just so refreshing after being  bombarded by the divisive rhetoric at home and not being able to escape the horror story called Trump's twitter feed every other to hear a politician  (even if it is a politician abroad) sound so genuine, sincere and inclusive. Here's hoping that no matter what  happens in the Senate race,  Mr. Beto O'Rourke sets his ambitions higher and works towards proving himself to be worthy of POTUS one day because however naive and idealistic this may sound, the world needs more uniting forces and more good at heart, decent people at high level positions in public offices than we have currently. 

Representation matters

I actually find it difficult to recall my childhood but there are a few memories that are so vivid, that if by chance I happen to recall them, it is virtually like as if I am reliving those moments again. One of those memories include one afternoon in 1995 (when I was 5 or 6 years old), where I was watching "Lion King" on VCR tape.. I literally remember the feeling of my heart bursting (ok that's unscientific so let me put out my definition of it: the feeling of massive weight of all kinds of overwhelming emotions squeezing the heart so hard that it is virtually impossible to maintain composure ) when Mufasa (who is the main character's father) dies. I actually remember crying my eyes out for probably the first time ever over a movie. No animated movie till date ever had that effect on me again for 23 years the way Lion King did.

In March 2018, I watched "Coco" which is an animated film. The best way to describe what I felt about this movie is to say that I am just very thankful that I had no company while watching this film. Simply because it was that afternoon in 1995 all over again. Only this time I was a 28 year old sobbing and not a 5 year old. The film deals with the very relatable theme of how though family can drive you crazy sometimes, ultimately they are the ones who have your back no matter what. The climax scene of this film is supposedly one of Disney Pixar's finest moments in cinema. Personally, it was a "heart burst" moment for me. But other than the beautiful story, the grand visual spectacle, this film has this tremendously charming simplicity about it. A lot of this has to do with the fact that the setting of this film is a small town in Mexico.The smattering of phrases of Spanish like "Chamako" (meaning male friend) , "Aye Aye Aye muchacho" (meaning boy), the focus on the mexican custom of honouring ancestors, even the fact that the characters were Mexican and were pronouncing names like Del A Cruz, Hector, Miguel with that distinct accent and not in a way that we would see english speaking countries pronounce the same and most of all. It really struck me how used to we are to see characters of certain colour, accents in mainstream english movies. It actually is little wonder that while those of us who have exposure to english movies/cartoons/music etc can pronounce names prevalent in english speaking countries with relative ease, while we can't pronounce japanese or russian or french names easily

It's really great that Disney Pixar did such thorough research on Mexican traditions and customs that they gave no room to anyone to criticize the depiction of Mexican culture while opening the doors for the rest of the world to marvel at it.  Unsurprisingly, Coco won the Oscar for the best animated film in 2018. In his acceptance speech the Director of Coco - Lee Unkrich proclaimed the following, 

"With Coco we tried to take a step forward towards a world where all children can grow up seeing characters in movies that look and talk and live like they do. Marginalized people deserve to feel like they belong. Representation matters."

Interestingly enough, Michelle Obama tweeted almost the exact same thing when Black Panther was released. I really can't help but wholly agree with the sentiment that representation matters. I myself liked Black Panther which possibly is the only all black cast movie that I have seen. Personally, my liking for the movie had more to do with the fact that I was amazed at the representation of the immensely strong and courageous female characters in the film.  Though I am not a big movie or sitcom buff, I have been a dedicated fan of the Marvel Cinematic Universe which has produced 19 superhero films from Iron Man to the recent Avengers Infinity War in the time span of 10 years. Superhero films almost always relegate women to secondary characters but it has really been heartening to see the evolution of female characters in the MCU. It is great for once to see female play such strong, substantive characters like ass kicking fighters like Valkyrie in Thor Raganorak, Okoye in Black Panther,  Gamora in Guardians of the Galaxy and a formidable supervillan like Hella (played by the magnificent Cate Blanchett). I specially like the representation of Shurie who plays T'Challa's sister as a brilliant scientist in Black Panther and a very non glamorized Tilda Swinton who plays the character of Ancient One - Sorcerer Supreme of mystic arts  in Doctor Strange. 

This kind of representation in mainstream films helps removing stereotypes of sections of people who are generally represented in a very uni-dimensional way (if at all they are indeed represented), not taking into account the complexities and uniqueness inherently present in every human. There is a reason why I personally consider the representation of strong female characters in mainstream superhero MCU movies refreshing.  If you talk about coverage of women in the media, it almost always has to do with obsessive and nauseating coverage of what they wear in events like a celebrity wedding, or a Met Gala or a Cannes Film festival event. While there isn't technically anything wrong with covering that aspect, it feeds into the notion that appearance is the only aspect worth noticing and covering about a lady that ultimately permeates into shallow, stereotypical representations of women in pop culture which further influences a generation of young girls. Of course one might argue that there are so many films that pay worthy tributes to representation of women and various communities like LGBTQ, or communities of colour etc. However it really is important to note that it makes a hell of a lot of a difference when worldwide giant franchises with the clout and influence like Disney Pixar and now an MCU has, portrays sections of people with great responsibility and dignity. Just recently, the news came out that a victim of clerical sex abuse has said Pope Francis told him God made him gay and his sexuality “does not matter”. Agree with the guy or not, when you have the most influential head of a religion showing this kind of acceptance, this is when there is truly a hope of change in attitudes towards marginalized and stereotyped sections. Similarly it would be really great if all the media giants who have an immeasurable influence on pop culture reflect on their role. In this regard,  I think MCU has upped their game and, I for one really look forward to seeing their first central female superhero movie - Captain Marvel when it comes out next year...

Literature from 'Sherlock' TV series

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I        In the third season of the series Sherlock, based on the adventures of iconic detective Sherlock Holmes and his sidekick Dr. John Watson, there is a scene where Sherlock gives a best man's speech in honour of John Watson during the latter's wedding. Up to this point, Sherlock is depicted as a genius, condescending, socially awkward geek who doesn't much care about matters concerning the heart.  I really don't know how the speech writers did it but that speech that Sherlock finally delivers at John's wedding just knocks it out of the park. It is awkward, sarcastic, cringeworthy, hilarious, beautiful and moving all at the same time. The acting is flawless, not only by an impeccable Benedict Cumberbatch who plays Sherlock but also the expressions of the audience around him played by an incredible supporting cast. 

   As a person who is drawn to good quotes and expressive writing, I really do think this content of this speech is good literature which is why I preserve it in my blog so I can revisit the same whenever I feel like. I really do take this speech as possibly the best tribute possible to those friends who add so much of value, affection and meaning to people who are so guarded, reserved and feel like they don't belong. 

 "When John first broached the subject of being Best Man, I was confused. I confess at first I didn't realize he was asking me. When finally I understood, I expressed to him that I was both flattered and surprised.I explained to him that I had never expected this request and I was a little daunted in the face of it. I nonetheless promised that I'd do my very best to accomplish a task which, for me, was as demanding and difficult as any I'd ever contemplated. Additionally, I thanked him for the trust he placed in me and indicated that I was in some ways very close to being moved by it.It later transpired that I'd said none of this out loud. 

I'm afraid John, I can't congratulate you. All emotions and, in particular, love, stand opposed to the pure cold reason I hold above all things. A wedding is, in my considered opinion, nothing short of a celebration of all that is false and specious and irrational and sentimental in this ailing and morally compromised world. Today we honor the death watch people, that is the doom of our society and, in time one feels certain, our entire species.

But anyway, let's talk about John.

If I burden myself with a little help mate during my adventures it is not out of sentiment or caprice, it is that he has many fine qualities of his own that he has overlooked in his obsession with me. Indeed any reputation I have for mental acuity and sharpness comes in truth from the extraordinary contrast John so selflessly provides. It is a fact I believe brides tend to favor exceptionally plain bridesmaids for their big day. There is a certain analogy there I feel. And contrast is, after all, God's own plan to enhance the beauty of his creation. Or it would be if God were not a ludicrous fantasy designed to provide a career opportunity for the family idiot.

The point I'm trying to make is that I am the most unpleasant, rude, ignorant and all-round obnoxious arsehole that anyone could possibly have the misfortune to meet. I am dismissive of the virtuous, [He looks at the priest], unaware of the beautiful [He looks at the maid of honour] and uncomprehending in the face of the happy [He looks at Watson and Mary]. So if I didn't understand I was being asked to be best man, it is because I never expected to be anybody's best friend. And certainly not the best friend of the bravest and kindest and wisest human being I have ever had the good fortune of knowing.

 I am a ridiculous man, [John nods] redeemed only by the warmth and constancy of your friendship. But, as I am apparently you best friend, I cannot congratulate you on your choice of companion. Actually, now I can. [To Mary] Mary, when I say you deserve this man, it is the highest compliment of which I am capable.

John, you have endured war and injury and tragic loss - so sorry again about that last one - so know this; today you sit between the woman you have made your wife and the man you have saved. In short, the two people who love you most in all this world. And I know I speak for Mary as well when I say we will never let you down and we have a lifetime ahead to prove that."

Other quotes from Sherlock

1) 

John Watson: I've thought long and hard about what I want to say to you. These are prepared words, Mary. I've chosen these words with care.

Mary Watson: Okay.

John Watson: The problems of your past are your business. The problems of your future...are my privilege. That's all I have to say.

2)  

"Listen, I'm happy to play the fool for you. I will run along behind you like some halfwit, making you look clever, if that's what you need. But dear GOD ABOVE, YOU WILL hold yourself to a higher standard!"

3) 

“Taking You Own Life. Interesting Expression — Taking It From Who? Once It’s Over, It’s Not You Who’ll Miss It. Your Own Death Is Something That Happens To Everybody Else. Your Life Is Not Your Own. Keep Your Hands Off It.”

4) 

Watson to Mary:  I’m not that man you thought I was. I’m not that guy. I never could be. And that’s the point. That’s the whole point. 

The man you thought I was is the man I want to be.

Mary: Well then, John Watson, get the hell on with it…

Special pics Part 1

I am not on instagram, don't post many pics on other social media and I tend to be really callous about taking and storing good pics. I have lost some really good pics because of changing many phones and losing data on my laptop. But ultimately I realized that some pics are too special not to preserve. So I thought it would be wise to store a few select pics in my blog and add a brief description.

Trip to Kalga, Himachal Pradesh - June 2016

I have already placed this small, quaint, gorgeous village situated on the top of a hill/mountain on a huge pedestal in a post I wrote last year so I won't elaborate too much. This was where my friends and I stayed during our trip here.

Breathtaking view from the balcony of our cottage guesthouse. I think from the relaxed posture of my friends leg, one can only imagine what an amazingly chilled out trip this was.

The Beatles Ashram, Rishikesh - March 2016

This was really special for a couple of reasons. To say that the Beatles is incredibly special to me is an understatement. There was something about the Beatles ashram that was magical and I just can't place what. Probably just thought of the presence of the Fab 4 in a mystical land and to know that there were beatles fans around the world who had come here to pay tribute to their favourite band by making beautiful fan art, scribbling lyrics of the songs everywhere made me feel such a deep connect with them. (Mama and Papa, I don't mean to freak you out) but this was my first ever solo trip. It actually was an awesome experience because Rishikesh was such a bustling touristy place, that not even for one moment did I feel awkward or unsafe. Only in one instance, when I was all alone in the ashram, I really was hoping that someone would come so I could ask them to take a pic of me with the magnificent Beatles fan art as background. Sure enough 2 British ladies came and when I asked, one of them very happily took the second pic and I remember her beaming after she had taken the pic, saying, " The purple colour of your t-shirt is a really good contrast against the backdrop."

Star pics

The above pic was sent to me by Appu chacha - an awesome family member of mine who I highly respect and look up to. He had read my blog and I suppose, in response to one of my posts, sent me this pic saying that he thought I might like it. Truth is I love it and I couldn't stop staring at it for a really long time. He told me it is an anti poaching camp he had been to in the middle of a jungle 25 kms from the Gudalur district of Tamil Nadu. The Indian landscape really is a majestic wonder!

There really is so much of thrash on Facebook. But sometimes, if you are lucky, you stumble across some absolute gems. This pic was posted by someone I knew long ago in my childhood. The source is European Southern Observatory. Would you take a look at that? It's just jaw dropping. 

Mental illness and leadership

I came across a article the other day whose main theme was how mental illness can actually be an asset where leadership was involved.

While it sounds quite controversial, the article logically spoke about how people with mental illness i.e. people with depression, bipolar disorder (I do not remember the other quoted illnesses) exhibit the following traits:- empathy, creativity, realism and resilience.

Going one by one, where I am penning down my interpretation of the article as I remember it - 

1) Empathy: When you have experienced the feeling of hitting a prolonged rock bottom, plunging the lowest of lows, it definitely is more likely that you understand a person's suffering even if that person or the circumstance he/she is in is miles different from yours. And I think especially if a depressed person has experienced compassion from others during that period, he/she is much more likely to try and help a person in a similar circumstance knowing full well what it feels like to be down in the gutter and more importantly knowing how even  small gesture of kindness is enough to prevent a person from falling over the edge 

2) Creativity: Anyone can look at the best artistes in the world to know that is true. I think the best songs especially on sad themes like heart break is when you her a musician play and you kind of sense that the person is not just strumming an instrument or singing into a mic but just bleeding his/her heart out. These are the kind of performances that can move one to tears. When pain can manifest itself in such powerful self expression, the world is definitely better off and I sincerely hope the artiste is better off as well.

3) Realism: I think this point is best illustrated with examples as mentioned in the article. Winston Churchill was prone to severe bouts of depression to the point that he could not even get out of bed. Further more, a lot of the times, he had suicidal tendencies. So much so, he would avoid balconies or high altitudes. Because of his perspective of not seeing things through rose tinted glasses all the time, he was the only person during the rise of the Nazis could see the kind of threat  it really posed to the Allied powers and the stability of the world. It is said that it was he was the one who insisted on going into the war although his whole cabinet was against the decision. Similarly Abraham Lincoln who suffered depression also oversaw the Civil War with a great sense of reality. The author of the article argues that mental illness is actually an asset during times of crisis for a leader because the leader is able to discern the situation as it is and doesn't have the tendency to look away from inconvenient facts or facts that the leader doesn't like.

4) Resilience: 'I have seen my greatest enemy. And he lies within me' I guess people really tend to underestimate what it feels like when you are in constant war with yourself. I am not sure whether one manages to ever defeat their inner demons but one can manage to live above them. This process of trying to conquer yourself is possibly the most exhausting and difficult thing to do and it is a life long process but I suppose this battle builds up resilience and mental strength

Ultimately, what  I found most interesting was the conclusion of the article where it said that mental illness should not be a disqualifying trait for a hiring a person in a leadership role.